Chewbacca on the Dancefloor

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"Don’t ask ‘Bacs for ID.

he’ll rip your fucking face off.


He's a bear.

Not in a gay way.

As in a real alien bear.

He’s pissed because his Uber had a surge on.

And he’s from space so you know they’re gonna take the mick.

Get him a booth, now."



"Don’t look ‘Bacs in the eye.

He don’t like it.

It’s nothing personal, but if you do,


He’ll rip your fucking eyes off of your fucking face.


He might even eat them, who knows?

He doesn’t, that’s for sure.

He hasn’t got time for people thinking they’re hard, like you."



"Don’t even think about talking to ‘Bacs girl.

If he sees you talking to her,


He’ll rip your fucking tongue from your fucking mouth out of your fucking face.


He’s done time you know,

and his brother, Teddy Ewok, he killed a clone.


He’s packing and all,

got a big fuck off crossbow laser thing.

it's mad.

He’s mad.”

“Someone get him a dark fruits please.”

George & ConnorComment